It’s Not What I Have to Do, But What I Get to Do
I am a planner. I’ve always known exactly where I needed to be and when. I’m hardly ever late and never overbook. I do all the appointment scheduling for the girls, plan meals, pre-order groceries when I know I won’t have time to go to the store and even bug Kyle each Sunday night by going over the events for the upcoming week. At work I lesson plan, change plans when necessary and write down just about everything so I can remember what needs to be done and things that are important for each student. Even just the word “planning” tends to haunt me in my sleep. It consumes my life.
It is a quality that most recognize as being organized and responsible, but I am starting to realize it might be more accurate to consider my planning abilities as one of my faults. Some would say I have a good handle on my life, I would say I think I’m a bit of a control freak. I make lists, I write things down, I cross things off. It is a constant cycle of making sure everything happens exactly when and how it’s supposed to.
I have a planner where I write everything down. It is color coordinated and I cross events and projects off as they happen or have been completed. It brings me satisfaction to do this. I even put an X on the date as it passes, making it easier to count down to the next thing coming up. Sometimes I look at my calendar and think to myself… Man, if I can just get through this week, then I will have less stress. Look at all this stuff I have to do. Or I’ll look forward to something that’s not happening for several more weeks, but feel like I can’t enjoy anything happening in the weeks to come because I stress over everything that needs to be done beforehand. See what I mean? Being such a good planner is actually making me more anxious.
October, November, December; the last three months of the calendar year are usually the busiest months. Full of birthdays, major holidays, friend gatherings, parent-teacher conferences, and so much more. By this point a new school year is in full swing and a routine has been put in place. It can be overwhelming at times to look at that calendar and wonder how I am going to [fit it all in]. It is a constant reminder of all the things I have to do each week.
Wait a minute…
Looking at everything I do as something I HAVE to do is not the way I want to live my life. Instead, I want to look at each marking on my calendar as something I GET to do.
I GET to buy groceries every week to feed my family.
I GET to stay late at work a few extra nights and share my love for my students.
I GET to schedule appointments for the girls to keep them healthy.
I GET to attend a bible study where I learn more about God.
I GET to stress about Christmas shopping for a large family that we are blessed to have.
I GET to do laundry, clean house, and cook dinner for my husband and girls.
This is a beautiful life I live. If I don’t start enjoying the moment or each day as if it were the last, then I know life will pass me by. During these busiest months of the year, I am really working on taking life one day at a time. It is a simple mindset change that will have a large impact on my life. I will find something in each day that I GET to do and will live it to the fullest.
My calendar is full, but so is my heart.
XO
Sarah