Keep asking

To my friends who keep asking me to do things, even when the answer is usually no… keep asking. I don’t want to say no, but for now, that has to be it.

Raising two little ones, with a full time job, running a blog, and My husband working six days most weeks to provide, takes a toll on us not just physically but mentally. As parents to littles ones, our days look very different know then they used to, but we can say, with 100% honesty, that we live a very happy life.

My husband and I don’t always get to go out on the weekends or go on trips with friends. Our parents work full time jobs and aren’t always jumping at the opportunity to watch our two [high energy] girls under the age of five. Not to mention our two dogs we have to find care for. I’m usually ready to give up before I’ve even gotten it all figured out. We refuse to put out our family and our kids just to have some fun. Months will go by before we realize we haven’t even had a date night, just us. I think sometimes it just feels easier to keep on with the daily grind instead of trying to disrupt the schedule that we try so hard to maintain.

I can see the tired look in my husband’s eyes and hear the disappointment in his voice when, once again, we’ve not been able partake in something. Or when I throw out an idea to do something but the hoops it would take to get there don’t seem worth the risk. I try to be a good wife. I would never tell him he can’t hang with friends or play a last minute round of golf. Even if it means I spend, yet again, another weekend alone with the girls. Kyle and I have established a common ground where we allow and even encourage each other to keep friendships going and most importantly, take time to ourselves. We know this is a short time of our lives where we won’t always get to think for ourselves. I’m learning to be okay with it.

Here’s the real kicker, though. Believe it or not, sometimes I’ll make plans, like super fun plans that I’m excited about, right? But then, reality gets in the way. I’m too tired, or feel like I could get too close to a mental breakdown if I don’t just stay at home in my comfy clothes, watching Netflix. It’s real life. My bed is literally calling my name, and a 9:30 bedtime sounds like the best idea. I have friends who get that and know people who don’t.

We have friends we only see every few months and friends we see almost every day. Our Friday and Saturday nights are sometimes spent hanging with other moms and dads who have young kiddos. The party ends by 10p.m. But that’s okay because we all know we’re going to be up at the crack of dawn anyway. OR sometimes we just want to do nothing on the weeks because we’ve worked ourselves to exhaustion during the week. Ya feel me?

Believe me, when we have to say “no” to your plans, it’s not because we don’t want to. Oh, goodness no! Trust me, I want to be carefree and choose the fun option. Who wouldn’t? But reality is here to stay, and we have to do what’s best for right now. It has to be it. Ten, twenty years from now, when our girls are grown… that’ll be the day. The answer will be YES. You name it, we’ll be there! I truly look forward to it.

We don’t want known as the No couple. But I’ve stopped caring. The real deal will be there for us when we make it through the difficult years of parenthood. For now, we will enjoy the girls and this new state of mind we’ve been given. I’m so thankful for the friendships who’ve lasted and the new ones I’ve made along the way. We’re enjoying this happy life we’ve been blessed with.

So keep asking. Even when you think you know the answer. At least I’ll know you wanted me there, but you understood when I couldn’t be.

XO

Sarah